I Knew Early.

I knew early on that this was a different thing. The way she looked at me, spoke with me, and just was with me was different than anything else I had ever been through in my life. I knew it was different because the feelings were stronger sooner. She knew all of my faults and yet still chose me. She knew my valley, struggles, and sins yet she still said yes I want to be with you. She showed me Jesus everyday and still does. I am talking about my Fiance. But she showed me something that I wanted to share today.

She showed me that my past relationships even though all failed had a purpose. They had all led to this point in history of my life. They had brought me to be the man I am today and that even though they were not successful they were important because it shaped what I did not want and what I did want. But most importantly they prepared me for her even though a lot of them were painful. They refined me into who I was and who I was meant for her. Even in my sin struggles they were used to redeem me into who the Lord wanted me to be in this life. Some sins that I thought were far too great for someone to love me through, she did. She still chose me daily.

Once I realized that, I could not spend another day without her in my life. I had asked God over and over if I loved her and 11 days into our official relationship, only a month after we had hung out for the first time since high school, God told me that I loved her. 13 days into our relationship I told her I loved her for the first time. I could not keep it in my bones any longer I had to tell her. I was realizing that she was constantly pushing me towards Jesus and towards my best self. Which was funny to me, because on her mirror in her room at the time one of her goals for the year was to be the best version of herself. Yet she was pushing me to be the best version of me.

She pushed me towards Jesus. The Lord began to reveal more of himself to me and I began to realize that only Jesus could fix everything. But Meredith just pushed me there. I don’t want you to get it twisted that Mere fixed me. Because she didn’t, The Lord did. The Lord healed my heart and filled me with the Spirit. But Mere did chose me everyday and still does.

About a month later God just told me on a bike ride that I was supposed to spend forever with her. She brought out all the best qualities in me. She made me want to be more patient, more kind, more loving, and most importantly more like Jesus. I had to spend forever with her and I was going to do whatever it took to be with her forever.

Five months later we took the best vacation over Fall Break and it was that weekend that I had planned to propose but was not going to do it over the vacation but when we got back. I had already set everything up. Had a photographer in place. Had a location. Had a party planned. And If you want the full story you can read it here. It was the most incredible day of my life and if you know me, you know I love the Cubs and them winning the World Series in 2016 didn’t even top this day.

I know you might be saying that you just wrote this blog to share the story of your engagement. But I wrote it to also encourage people who are dating or single. Don’t settle for someone that isn’t pushing you to be your best version of yourself. Don’t settle for someone who is comfortable when you could find someone who pushes you closer to Jesus and his promises. Don’t settle but seek and find the person who wants you to be who you are and also the best version of that person. And even if you just broke up with someone and you are hurting, that relationship wasn’t worthless. You probably learned something about yourself and who you want to be. You also learned about things you do or do not want in a relationship from that failed relationship. Allow the pain you are feeling to help you in becoming better. If you just broke up and you don’t feel good enough, I promise you that you are. You are good enough because you are an image bearer of God. Another person does not make you complete, only Jesus can do that. He has placed an eternity in your heart and only he can fill it. So seek him first, work on yourself, and don’t settle. I can’t promise you that you will find someone because I am not a fortune teller or a future predictor. But I can promise you that there is a God, who loves you and if its in God’s will he will provide you someone to do life with.

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Thad Ernst