Every morning I usually wake up and go to the kitchen and grab a bite to eat. Then I turn on music to get my blood pumping for the day. I don’t usually pick my music and just go with whatever comes on or was used last on my Spotify account. Sometimes it is Macklemore. Other times it is NEEDTOBREATHE. And other times its my running playlist. But this morning was different. For the past few days I have felt apathetic in my walk with Jesus. I have just felt like it has been a struggle to get in the word and I haven’t been focused during the times I have gotten into the Bible. This morning when I woke up, I chose to listen to my worship playlist. For some reason, after I feeling apathetic for the past few days I CHOSE to listen to this playlist. It was not something that I mindlessly did but rather purposely chose to do.
As I was getting in the shower this morning this song came on. As I am standing there I began to mindlessly sing the song that was playing. But then I began to actually listen to the words that were being said in the song. “Christ is enough for me” “Everything I need is in you”. I began to think over the past week has this been true for me? Has my life reflected this? And I honestly had to answer “No it hasn’t”. It was an eye opener for me. one of those things that just punch you in the face and wake you up.
And then I asked myself, “Why?” “Why have I not thought that Christ was enough for me?” These aren’t easy questions to ask yourself especially when you work in a church. And after a few moments of standing there I came to the conclusion that I had just become lazy and faded back into the way of the world. The world tells you that it should be about getting the newest and the best. The world says that it is okay to be selfish and give into the wants of your flesh. But Jesus came and preached a different way of doing things. He didn’t come preaching that it was all about him or what he could do. But rather he pointed to God and set an example for us to follow. But I am not perfect and don’t always follow the example that was laid before us so many years ago when Jesus walked this earth.
You may think that I have it all together and that my walk with Jesus is always sunshine and rainbows because I am a youth pastor. But I am human before I am a youth pastor and I have flaws just like you do. I struggle in my walk with the Lord just like most of you do sometimes. There are some days that i do not want to get up and chase after the cross. Sometimes it takes someone to show me that I am struggling because I am prideful and don’t want to see it. But other times God reveals it to me through my own choices and reflection. We just have to look sometimes for the stuff we don’t see on the surface.
Most people that are people of faith feel like they aren’t allowed to struggle in their faith. But it is okay to struggle. Jacob struggled and wrestled with God on the banks of the Jabbok River in Genesis 32. The dude wrestled with God. But out of Jacob became Israel. So I will say that it is okay to struggle with things as a follower of God. Now don’t go out of here saying well Thad said I could, because I am not an expert nor does my word hold weight against the Bible. But I will say that the Bible said it and I believe the Bible as true.
But I will challenge you to be honest with people who you trust about your struggles. To be honest when you have doubts. Be open with your questions. Because how are you going to grow if you don’t share these things with other people. Other people will help you grow.
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*Also I can’t take credit for the feature image.